I feel terrible. My throat is spiked with thorns, I have this intermittent pain in my articulations, I’m cold, I’m hot. A few minutes ago, I went into the shower before removing my soaked sheets, after a night of what only very generously could be named as “sleep”. I remember a moment after shower, when I looked at myself the mirror, and then I thought that one of my ears was going to drop into the sink or something like that (I’ve been seeing zombie movies lately).
…but on the other hand, I like going through this kind of “weird cold” now and then. Aided of course by a strong complexion, I have always considered that certain periods of sickness are “chances for resurrection”. A sort of a purifying cocoon, purulent and dirty like cocoons are, but from which you come out grown, reborn, one step older but one step wiser.
A disease is a call of attention from our body, and I think that sometimes we get it wrong. We get scared. We block the healing of the affected area. As if, when the pang, the nausea or the dizziness appear, we did our best to put ourselves as far as possible from the affected area. By doing that, we become a stranger to ourselves, and we become divided. Think of children, the pure way in which they accept disease when it comes as all that there is, as all that they know. Think how well it works for them. But I guess that the fear reflection is very intense, and we learn it from too many masters at the same time.
That’s why on occasions like this I try to be very attentive to my senses (I’m a sensual person, according to the word’s Latin etymology). I try not to leave my body alone. I try to learn from it. I’m not one of those extremist naturists, I use painkillers when I have to, but not as a ruling but as the exception.
So far, this state of convalescence has been very fruitful. This morning, I got impressed by the volume of notes on my bedside table. My mind, pressed by the fever, worked all night like a dynamo. By applying GTD
So it seems I needed it. I had been for a few days not quite healthy but not exactly ill, resisting against all odds and trying my best to keep on being “productive”. But my body, by finally knocking me out, has made me advance in clarity and creativity more than the latest two weeks all together. Our bodies know better. We have to relearn their language.
Do you enjoy a good sickness now and then? Any healthy habit you have for those periods? When was the last time that your body sent you a clear message?
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