“I am through with it. I wonder which sick minds could conceive that I am in charge of this world, and how such a nonsensical idea can have become so popular. I cannot stand the pressure anymore, and I cannot allow being blamed for things that were never my responsibility, so I’ve decided to abandon my traditional neutrality and diligence for a minute to address such coward criticisms, once and for all.
I do not rule anything. I am a label maker. And I am very good at what I do. So the world is screwed up? Sorry to hear that, but none of my business: pretending that I am in control of anything is like giving a guy a fork and asking him to put out (or to build) a fire. I have nothing to do with fire: I only do the math.
I fulfill orders, that’s what I do. Wherever they come from. I don’t ask questions, I am just thankful to have something to do. Decisions are made somewhere else. Example: three guys jump you out at a corner. It is my right brother, better at actions than me, who takes charge. Or maybe the tiny lizard who sleeps at the hypothalamus, or a combination of them both. But on one those situations, believe me, I have NEVER been consulted, and it is not because I could not teach a lot about Stoicism, Deontology, and Post-Structuralism to improve performance.
Decisions are taken elsewhere. So next time you listen someone saying that it is me who rules the world, watch attentively who’s talking; more often than not, you’ll find someone who is trying to distract you from something. I don’t rule a damn thing. I’m too busy doing stuff, whatever it is: I can build the most efficient gas chamber or design a perfect plan to eliminate world starvation in three years. At your service.
And now please beat it, I have heaps of things to do…”
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Hi Nacho,
That was very funny! I don’t know much about the brain, even though I suppose to have one (or so they say), but I must admit that I did think (so I do have a brain after all!) that decisions were made by the left side.
My concept was that the left side was the hard, logical worker, while the right side was the lazy artist, and we suppose to struggle throughout life to get them to work together as a team
With this post I assume you gave more work to the left side to analyze the meaning while the right side will keep sleeping (that lazy ass!)
Raul
Hey Raul,
Sometimes I am almost certain that I have a brain too, so I know exactly how you feel
To your scheme of both brains, I’d like to add that past and future are an invention of left brain, right brain lives in a pure present, so in a way it is not sleeping but dreaming, being its own dream… This is a bit of ‘physiology fiction’, but I like to think of the right brain as the one who comes with the ‘what ifs’ (what if there were a superhero dressed like a bat, what if we removed that wall to make the kitchen wider, what if we mix yellow and blue), and then the left brain, efficient an unimaginative, expands things and gives them coherence.
On the other hand, the left brain/right brain division itself was invented by left brain, the one who likes to classify! Brain is such an unending mystery…
I’m glad you enjoyed the post. Thank you for sharing.